Cat

[bigtrouble]

My boyfriend and I recently adopted two cats. We adopted a mother and one of her kittens, the kitten is seven months old and has never been separated from the mother. The problem is, the kitten is very shy, and seems to hate my boyfriend. He won't stop hissing at him and every time anyone goes near him he goes into defensive position and crouches. He also runs if anyone moves at all. We don't think its just the move as we've had him for some time, and started him off in a safe room. He just doesnt seem to like anyone, my boyfriend especially. We've decided we can't keep him as he has become physically distructive recently, and we cant really afford to own a cat that is just a companion for the mom. We are worried about separating him and his mother though. We couldnt stand to part with his mommy, but we just can't handel his destructiveness and fear. my question is, how can we separate them with the least amount of trama to them both? or is it possible?

[meezermom]

Hi there Big Trouble and thanks for stopping by....

May I ask where you got this pair? It sounds as if they may be a bit feral....Is the male neutered yet? If not he should be. Male cats can be quite a pain in the butt if not neutered! He also may be sensing he isn't liked and that can cause them to strike out. Cats is funny critters!
You can try to separate the two of them. How does the mom-cat react to him? Do they snuggle up together and hang out together most of the time? If not, then you really should not have a problem....To try things out, try to put him in a separate room and see how he does. Be sure he has food, water, toys and a litterbox and just shut the door. Put something along the bottom of the door too to help block some sound and scent. She how she handles it. If she gets frantic and claws or screeches at the door, it may not be possible but give it a couple days. At the same time, try spending one on one time with him. He is a "cat's cat" and not a person's cat. He has never formed a bond with a human. With some effort, you may be able to fix that. However, if you simply don't want to work at it, you can take him to a shelter and see if they will take him in. Depending on what he looks like, he may have a slight chance of being adopted. Bottom line, not many want cats, they want kittens. Unless you know someone who might take him....

[big trouble]

Hi Meexermom,
we got him from a shelter that fostered their cats. He was in a foster home his whole life, but they had quite a few cats with him. He is fixed, and I've been reading if he wasnt introduced to men by a certain age he wont be ok with them, is that true?
As for being fixed, he is, but in terms of sensing that we dont like him probably isnt true as we both thought he was really funny for the first few weeks and he never came around.
They do groom eachother and cuddle, but we did as you said and the mom seems to be doing great, he however hid in a corner and wont come out.

[meezermom]

I really wonder where this idea that if they are not introduced to men at an early age, they won't like them came from! It is not true....In some cases, cats are real masters at sensing fear. I will say for sure this cat has not been socialized at all with people and so he is part feral. His link is his mom. Without her, he is not going to do well at but she will be okay. You may want to talk to the vet about medicating him for a month or so to give him a chance to accept being handled. You could try catnip but some cats mellow out and others go spazzing around! Some cats are not as friendly as others but in his case, he is afraid. As you both do like him, are you willing to try and work this out?

You mention he is highly destructive? In what ways?? Is he clawing things apart? You could try restricting the pair to one room and put several different scratching items in. There is a type that looks like a cardboard box that is slanted and is sissal covered and many cats love it. There is one you can hang on the back of the doorknob. Try tossing a piece of carpet face down on the floor! You want to find out what things he likes....and encourage him to use it. If he is reactive to catnip, try it on the scratching things..... You will need patience. You say you got them recently, how recently?? It can take time for a cat to warm up to people...has your boyfriend tried being the treat man? Or how about the guy who plays with them?? Get either Da Bird or The Cat Dancer and have him and him alone use them...it will be a way for him to bond to the boy cat...Also, if your boyfriend has a loud booming voice, he may simply be frightening the cat....soft talk will help!

[big trouble]

Hi meezermom,
we've decided to keep the kitten, but in terms of being destructive its not so much scratching as always cheewing through things and throwing kitty litter around. We're hoping he will eventually come around, but it was too hard for me to separate him from his mommy. thanks for your advice.

[meezermom]

Boy kitties for some reason can become a bit much when it comes to digging!! You could try a covered litterbox but some cats hate them. OR you can put the litterbox inside either a cardboard box or some type of Rubbermaid container that has one side cut low enough for easy access. It will cut down on kick out! As for chewing on cords, by Bitter Apple, either spray or gel and coat the cords with it. Once he gets a taste of that, he will not chew! I am guessing he is going after computer cords, right? Many cats do tend to find that tangle just too wonderful to resist. I know I got mine sorted out, tied each of them up and then tied the whole bundle together with cable ties! It isn't fun anymore so they no longer bother with them. He simply needs to learn there are rules and he has to obey them. A squirt bottle will go a long way in teaching a cat. And I really am glad you decided to work things out with him.....you will probably find that he will turn into a great cat!

[big trouble]

Hi, so I have a new update.
Ash was doing a lot better, but he suddenly reverted back to his old ways. He wont go anywhere near us now, he runs from my boyfriend, today we walked down the stairs and he ran out of the litterbox without cleaning up after himself (this is a new freak out, he is a very clean cat). we've done everything we can find, we've had him for two months, I still like him, but him acting like we abuse him constantly is starting to wear at our self-esteme. I don't know what to do at this point, I can't break up him and his mom, I can't bring them back to the shelter without breaking my heart, but i also can't live in a house with this going on. what can i do?

[meezermom]

Be sure the litterbox is in a rather hidden area.....cats, especially the boys do not like the box in an area that is high traffic... Also, don't let this current behavior bother you...ignore it....totally. Just talk to him like normal..don't worry about trying to pet him or anything else. Just be calm around him and otherwise ignore him. That will do more good. And try to remember, not all cats are friendly. Some do not enjoy being handled. I had one that you could not touch without losing a hand....he was that was for a few years and then he got sick....and because he was so miserable, it gave me the chance to care for him and he then became my dearest buddy...If you just ignore him and don't let him get to you, things will work out.....